про познавательное

[Guardian of VARN]

да. я решил сам себя успокоить после бэби-бума (ichwarte.diary.ru/p134706563.htm - пруфлинк)

так что читаем с самого начала выдержки из твиттера Ричарда Хаммонда

Just got to the Top Gear track and the producer has hidden the steps to the portakabin. He thinks I can't hear him in there giggling.

Had a blast in the new Zonda today, but on the exit of turn 7 The Stig stood for an hour holding a sign saying 'YOU TINY TWAT LOSER'.

James upset me in our production meeting by whispering 'wankerwankerwanker' under his breath. I went to the toilet and had a cry.

Practising saying ''I did NOT have my teeth whitened" in front of the mirror over and over until it's almost believable.

Jeremy sent me out of the office today and told me not to come back until I'd got rid of 'that stupid fucking queerboy hair'

I lost my underpants so I'm going commando in biker's leathers. It's chilly at Dunsfold Park hangar at night, little Richard is very cold.

Jeremy pulled down my trousers in front of the crew this morning and our new runner saw my tinkle. It was very cold.

James and Jeremy are drunk and have just pissed in my bed. Fairport Convention is on 11 and they're waving their cocks at me.

Went for a nap on the Top Gear office sofa earlier, but when I work up James had shaved off half my pubes and some of my ass.

AAAchoo! Caught a stinking cold after Jeremy flushed my head down the toilet in the hangar cubicle.

Jeremy just told me he fisted people smaller than me at boarding school. He smells of whisky.

Jeremy's looking up Jet Cars in the Yellow Pages saying I want to try and hit 400mph on the M20 at 3am. He's stuffed a sock in my mouth. ... sorry I meant cock.

Every morning I make Jeremy venison sausages, egg (over easy), white pudding & a kipper. He farts and gives me the Variety Pack Ricicles.

... and I can't even show the shopkeeper my driving license because Jeremy's drawn a massive floppy cock and balls over my nose and eyes.

I caught James masturbating in my dressing room again this week but he didn't see me because of his cocker spaniel's ears.

I just had to pretend to my daughter that I had something in my eye when I saw how many people on Twitter want me to get a haircut.

Jeremy's had me trying on different animal costumes this week. How exciting! I think we're going to a fancy dress party as giant bears.

James drank a lot of cider and kept mumbling into his cuff until he tongued me from my lips to my ass, undercarriage, scrotum and helmet.

Jeremy was too lazy to go the cinema last night so he painted me blue and told me to climb a tree whilst he watched from the conservatory.

I'm SO excited a little wee just came out. It's the Baftas tonight; look out for me everyone! I'm dropping Jeremy off in a rickshaw at 6:30
... and before you ask, no, it wasn't a sex wee; I haven't done one of those since James drunkenly goosed me on his lego bed.

Jeremy just came racing out of the hangar caravan naked with his pecker pushed between his legs yelling 'Look at my Mangina!' . . .

Jeremy's moved my 911 and replaced it with a giant hamster zorbing ball. Where's my car you fucking funny twat?

Even though there's not much fabric to play with, I've got my mankini monogrammed with a metallic R and H on each nipple strap.

Jeremy's sat on the toilet with the door open reading A Dummy's Guide To Pyrotechnics. I've boiled a box of eggs to mask the stench.


это далеко не все, я, естественно, еще и половины его твиттера не прочел
сначала у меня была мысль ЭТО мракобесие переводить, но пришлось махнуть рукой, ибо
1) в общем там и так все понятно
2) я не могу это переводить, я ржать начинаю
3) такой маразм ваще грех переводить XDDD

@темы: РНМ, а он хватается за коленку и кричит: ''Моя спина! Моя спина!'', Фармазон, вы хам, мужик и быдло, познавательное, Top Gear, Хомячок Ричард, цитатное

Comments

[Пургуру]

Мне без ума от Хаммонда
мне про волосы понравилось, но почему всех хотят избавляться от волос. вот и Росберг тоже обстригся. только пока я увижу фото, которые он сам выложит. я не поверю!
И про отсутствующее нижнее белье
*еще в процессе чтения этого мракобесия*

[Guardian of VARN]

Angiebird
Хамми Хаммонд наше всио, нежно и трепетно люблю эти 170 см
и волосы его мне тоже очень-очень нравятся, не надо ему обстригацо... да и Росбергу имхо лучше с хаером... да всем имхо лучше с хаером XD
про белье у них вообще по-моему любимая тема...